Why I Will Probably Never, Ever Visit The Grand Canyon Again.

Well, is it true? It is for me.

There. I said it.

Because that’s how uninteresting the Grand Canyon was for me. Like many, I had been looking forward to seeing it for a long time. When I got there, all excited to see it, I wanted to have that “WOW” moment.

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Me, looking. But not ‘wow-ing’.

Therefore, I looked down at my feet all the way till I was at the very edge, and then I looked up… anticipating an enormous nature orgasm.

Which didn’t happen.

It was  like, ‘Oh. Ok. There it is. Well. Dammit, I’m not blown away.’

I’m not going to lie to you- The Grand Canyon was one of the top destinations I wanted to see.  However, I had just come from what is considered to be the very beginning of the grand canyon, Marble Canyon. (And I LOVED Marble Canyon.)

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Marble Canyon. See, you can SEE things! I think there is more perspective as well.

The cliffs were way closer together, as opposed to the Grand Canyon. This allowed for one to really see the depth and the scope of the giant crack in the Earth. You could see the birds flying around near the other side of the walls, the details in the rocks on the other side, and you could see the river below. All good.

I think Marble Canyon ruined the Grand Canyon for me. So when I got to the GC, it just looked like a huge deep hole. One that you can’t see the details of its other side because it’s so far.

Meh.

I have talked to a few friends who had the same reaction as I did so that was rather redeeming.

Still, I made the best of it and enjoyed smaller details of it. I hiked, walked The Girls, inspected a ton of Elk’s bones and made like I was falling off of the edge of a cliff.

THE COPYCATS

I got a kick out of this! So I did my signature ‘look like you’re falling over the cliff’ routine because I just had to. Immediately following my shenanigans, the rest of the crowd waiting to take their shot at the end of the rock (it was sunset) started to do the same. Like, ALL of them. Guess they liked my idea!

I ended up jumping back in for a cameo with a young girl. We had fun…

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Ohmygodimfalling!
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Seriouslysomeonesaveme!!!
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Naw, see? Just kidding.

 

THEN CAME MY NEWFOUND FOLLOWERS:

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This guy did it…
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Then this girl did it…
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aaand they just kept coming!

Finally, as the ‘leader/project manager’, I jumped back in with this little girl and we did a duet:

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Look… I’m pulling her down and using her to keep myself alive. What a selfish shit I am!
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It’s all good. She forgave me.

YOU HAD BETTER WATCH YOUR ASS IF YOU GONNA HIKE IN THE GRAND CANYON!

What goes up must come down? Well, in this case, you had better get your own ass back UP!

This is dissimilar to most hikes which usually go UP a mountain. Easier to come down than to go up on the way back. Hence, this sign at the trailhead of Dripping Springs:

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It’s for real. This hike was STEEP. Likely the steepest I have ever done besides Angel’s Landing in Zion. Not sure which one wins that contest. Dripping Springs was demanding, yes. I hiked it with Marshall who was smarter than me and brought an ample supply of water.

The thing is, you’re thinking on the way down, ‘I’m cool. This isn’t so bad.’ Then it starts getting hot, then you realize you have to get all the way back UP. Up is harder for sure.

If you are outta water and getting dehydrated, you can quickly be fucked. Once you hike it, it’s easy to see how fast you can get into trouble. I *barely* brought enough water.

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I took this to TRY to convey how steep this section was. Brutal.
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Where I am pointing is where we had to get all the way back UP to to get back!
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Oh, me,  doing some sort of Miley Cyrus face at Dripping Springs
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There is actually a pool here and it’s nice and cool. Quite the reward at the end of a hot hike! The moss at the top of the rock is where the water drips out all year round.
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View along the way.

 

ELK BONEYARD OF GRAND CANYON PAST

Huh?

What am I talking about? Well, where we boondocked was eerily littered with Elk bones. Deer too, probably.

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LOOK at this thing! Look at it! Look! This was the most complete specimen I saw by far. This is how I found it.

It was a phenomenon. The Girls rather liked it! They got to smell the hell out of lots of old bones and even got to chew on a few.

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Trix satisfying her inner wolf.

 

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Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom!

I even found a spine in a tree and I was super excited at first. I thought a mountain lion (which do reside in the area) had put it up there. I thought that was super cool, until I realized the tree was far too small for a ML to climb it.

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Apparently PEOPLE do it. It’s a thing. I ended up finding about 3 or 4 more piles of bones in trees.

Ok people. You’re weird.

 

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Gizmo found an outdoor toilet. It really does ‘work’. For those who want to do “Glamping” in a tent. : D 

Speaking of Gizmo, she got dirtier here than she has ever been in her life. At the campsite. Look at her. Look!

 

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Seriously, Gizmo? Did this make your life better in some way?

 

MORE HIKING AND HANGING WITH FELLOW NOMADS

We had the pleasure of camping with fellow nomadic friends Jase and Lauri of Wanderwasi, at the Grand Canyon. Also, we met Derek, of Paradise2pavement, another full-time van dweller.

We had a few campfires and hiked with them at Bright Angel Trail. Got to see the whole donkey/mule caravans on this hike. It’s one of the most popular hikes in the park. Some of us were a little hungover, so we didn’t hike very far.

Everyone was cool with that. Still, Derek, the spring chicken kept leaving everyone else in the dust.

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I am looking a bit chunky here! WTF.
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With Jase, Lauri, Marshall and Derek on Bright Angel Trail. See how the selfie stick comes in handy?? Tourists trying to take your photos=disasterous photos. 

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Nothing better than ending the day with friends around a campfire! Really.

We stayed our two-week allotment and then carried on to…

BEAUTIFUL COLORADO!

I have been LOVING Colorado. Next blog you will get to see why.

Thank you for reading and keeping up with my silly life! Mountains and snow and pure natural beauty coming up next!!


19 thoughts on “Why I Will Probably Never, Ever Visit The Grand Canyon Again.

  1. Looking down into marble Canyon doesn’t and could not allow you to comprehend the enormity of the grand Canyon. The deepest point can not be visualized from the top and when you’ve hiked down to the deepest area you can not see the top edge of the Canyon. To truly experience the Canyon requires depth of being and a true appreciation of the force of mother nature. So sad you are one of the many who are incapable of this true natural experience. Maybe a hike into the canyon may change you perspective.

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    1. Maybe so, I’m just not feeling it. Since there are SO many other amazing and fabulous places to see in the USA, I’ll be exploring those before I give the GC a second chance. Thank you for your input!

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  2. Your pictorials are fabulous, and your narrative entertaining, informative and interesting … it’s still not a way of life I could handle but I surely do love living it vicariously.  Thanks and keep ’em coming.  PS:  Loved the Dirty Gizmo entry and the inner wolf of Trix  LVYA, Rosemary

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  3. I kindof had the same reaction to the Grand Canyon when we visited a couple years back. I think it’s just so enormous and monochromatic, it’s hard to get that perspective you need. Or maybe it’s really just not all that exciting. Who knows? People are entitled to love or not love whatever they want as far as I’m concerned. Oh, and I totally bought a selfie stick for our travels but haven’t broken it out yet. I’m sure people will be laughing at us when we use it, but whatever. Our pics are gonna rock!!! 🙂

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    1. LOL! Some selfie stick love! They are great, not just for ones that travel solo, but like I said in the article, tourists take suck ass photos! Sure, I’ve had plenty of well-meaning people ask if I wanted them to take my photo or a group photo. Nine times out of 10, it sucks! With a selfie stick you have full control of the photo. Anyway, I think it is the perspective thing as well as yeah, I just have seen other desert scenery that I appreciated much more. No worries! I just felt that they were surely other people out there that felt the same way I did. So I threw it out there. So dammit use your selfie stick and be proud! Yes your photos will rock! Thank you so much for reading- feedback is an awesome thing!

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  4. This was such a great write up! Made me laugh. You may never return to GC, but your ohmygodimfalling! picture with GC in the background is pretty amazing. The Dripping Springs hike also gave me a little spanking, and I didn’t even go all the way to the spring. I found a big rock with some shade about half way and hung out while Lon went the distance. But we didn’t bring enough water and missed a turn in the trail on the way back up. I realized how quickly a little incident at GC could get serious. Bought a 3L Camelback a little while later.

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    1. EXACTLY, about the water/getting into trouble part! And I KNOW YOU could easily have made it if you had adequate water!!! Hell you guys are the ones who recommended we take that hike, and I was cursing your name under my breath on the way back up lol!! Thanks for keeping up, and hope to see y’all again on the road soon!! Xoxo!

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  5. Some hopefully-helpful tips from a fellow adventurer who has logged a lot of miles hiking, backpacking, rafting, and running in the GC: the best trails and routes in the Canyon are away from the main tourist area (far east and west South Rim and North Rim). The Kaibab, Bright Angel, and Hermit trails mentioned in this article are fun enough but are packed with day hikers and mules almost year-round – and will be underwhelming to anyone with measurable backcountry experience. The author is correct that this is an extremely dangerous environment – so if you are a beginner PLEASE do stick with those trails, and only hike as far in as the author did (never to the river and back in one day). People die needlessly here every single year trying to do things they are not equipped for. If you have some decent hiking/backpacking skill, you’ll want to do at least a 1-nighter to the river on one of the less-traveled trails or routes. And if you can, go in the off-season (Nov-Feb) for the cooler weather and thinner crowds. I’ve talked to many, many people that go the wrong spots at the wrong time of year with too little time or no pre-planning and have a similar experience to the “meh” — But it’s like driving only to the entrance of Yellowstone and saying you didn’t get to see anything cool. Such a bummer. Do your research before you go – and enjoy! 🙂

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    1. Great advice you put out there, Anna! The friends who actually told me to take the trail to dripping Springs did it themselves, made a wrong turn on the way back, and realized how quickly things could go wrong without enough water. Luckily they had just enough. It’s a very unforgiving environment, and yes it’s beautiful, I just didn’t have the wow factor I thought I would upon seeing it for the first time. And I agree, you have to get down into the guts of the place to appreciate it and see the best of it. And no, one should not do it on a whim. Thank you for reading and for the wonderful advice, Anna. It could save a life, you never know!

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  6. I thoroughly enjoyed your narrative. I’ve been to both North Rim and South Rim of the GC. I saw NR first and it is awesome. Different colors. I put close up of tree branches in the foreground with beautiful big view in the background. It gives you more depth perception, size approximation. The waterfalls and pools, or even the Colorado River shots add color contrast and subject matter to the frame of your photo other than just open huge cavern with mesas and plateaus of same mixed colors, and vastness. View from GC Lodge is a bit more picturesque. The NR has a beautiful arch you can look through (like a window) and see a different section of canyon beyond. A total different perspective. I think it would be worthwhile to hike down in the canyon to where the Colorado River is, find the waterfalls and pools would be neat. I would love to ride the rapids in a big raft with a tour guide of course. That would be an adventure and a half. However, the great Colorado has really gotten much shallower than when I last saw it. It’s a shame it’s so low. We are drying up out here in the great southwest. I loved your help me I’ve fallen photos. Hilarious. You need a little levity at times ! Great job on that. And Gizmo and Trix are adorable and precious. The dirt all over me is priceless. The elk bones shocked me. They look more like the size of small dinosaurs. Perhaps they are just that much bigger there. But you would have to compare the sizes of elk from a Yellowstone Park point of view. You must see Yellowstone and Grand Tetons if you haven’t been there yet. I always say this is where God rested on the 7th day! God’s country for sure. Zion is breathtaking! Quite a bit different. But it’s because you drive right through it. GC you stand at and edge and look around. You really can’t sense the vastness of it. See it from helicopter turbo from a plane higher up, you are way up there and the canyon looks humungus. It’s a giant from satellite. The glass platform that juts out from a cliff would seem to be an interesting sight to behold. But I would get that height fear, seeing through the glass like I’m suspended in the air and may not be able to “handle it”. That was built few years ago long after I had visited there. I envy your traveling and taking in the beautiful U.S.A. There is so much majesty and wonder to enjoy. Have a fun, beautiful and safe continued journey. Thank you for sharing your gorgeous photos and narrative. It dis allow me escape my dull drums a while. Take care RVChickadee! Post your next stop story.

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    1. Wow, Sharon!
      You’re making me almost want to go back and check it out again! Great narrative yourself there girl. I get it about the vastness and openness of it all. I got a couple of shots that I liked OK because there was something in the foreground and then also something not so freaking far away you could actually make something of it, in the background.

      It will be fun to see how scary that glass walkway would be. (You could do it, for sure)

      Someday I might check it out, once I’m not so dependent on Internet. I would love to ride those rapids as well, that would be an adventure and I think it will be nice and intimate being down with the river and so close to the canyon walls. The river is getting shallower and shallower, which is a shame. But it still there and still floatable and the opportunity is there!

      It lifts my heart to know you enjoyed the photos and that you could live a little vicariously, if I may so presume, through my adventures. Nothing makes me happier than to share it with others because I don’t want to just do it myself selfishly, I think everybody should do it, but I understand everybody cannot. I wish everything I wrote about was funnier- because I just want to laugh in life and want others to do the same! I mean why not? We are only on this rotating marble for a short period of time, we may as well enjoy the hell out of it. I am trying to, that’s for sure! Thank you so much for reading and for the lovely comment!

      Not everyone takes the time to give such feedback, myself included, when they feel it is warranted. So, thank you- I thoroughly appreciate it!!! ❤️

      More adventures to come soon!! -Kel

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  7. Love the outdoor toilet..thats the one moment you really hope you dont get attacked by a mountain lion. We used one of those poo-boxes when we canoe camped on Lake Lila in the Adirondacks. One night it rained and i was on umbrella duty while my wife was taking care of business. One of those moments that define you as a couple and you will remember forever.

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    1. Oh my word!! Umbrella duty- now THAT is love! lol! I did not use that Pooh box it was at another campsite. However, it was disgusting how many bits of toilet paper all over the place at our campsite at least. People are supposed to bury that, not just let it sit. Unfortunately there was a lot of trash along with toilet paper. But yeah, I’d never seen a poo box before. 😁

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